Trail of Fire
by russetfurbr
Summary: CF AU. What would had happened if Katniss had escaped with Gale and their families, leaving Peeta and Haymitch behind? Rated due violence.
1. The Plan

**Disclaimer: All the credits belong to Suzanne Collins and, I don't take any payment for this story. This is just for entertainment. I don't own anything related to Hunger Games.**

**If I did, Finnick would still be alive. **

**1 – The Plan**

"_We run away." _

"_What?" he asks. _

_This has actually caught him off guard. _

"_We take to the woods and make a run for it," I say. _

_His face is impossible to read. Will he laugh at me, dismiss this as foolishness? I rise in agitation, preparing for an argument. _

"_You said yourself you thought that we could do it! That morning of the reaping. You said…" _

_He steps in and I feel myself lifted off the ground. The room spins, and I have to lock my arms around Gale's neck to brace myself. He's laughing, happy. _

"_Hey!" I protest, but I'm laughing, too. _

_Gale sets me down but doesn't release his hold on me. _

"_Okay, let's run away," he says. _

"_Really? You don't think I'm mad? You'll go with me?" _

_Some of the crushing weight begins to lift as it transfers to Gale's shoulders. _

"_I do think you're mad and I'll still go with you," he says. _

_He means it. Not only means it but welcomes it. _

"_We can do it. I know we can. Let's get out of here and never come back!" _

"_You're sure?" I say. "Because it's going to be hard, with the kids and all. I don't want to get five miles into the woods and have you…" _

"_I'm sure. I'm completely, entirely, one hundred percent sure." _

_He tilts his forehead down to rest against mine and pulls me closer. His skin, his whole being, radiates heat from being so near the fire, and I close my eyes, soaking in his warmth. I breathe in the smell of snow-dampened leather and smoke and apples, the smell of all those wintry days we shared before the Games. I don't try to move away. Why should I, anyway? His voice drops to a whisper. _

"_I love you." _

That simple phrase, whispered with such sincerity and conviction, shocks me and, I walk away from his embrace.

I mean, it's not like I never had thought about it. There were moments in the arena that I felt like betraying Gale for kissing Peeta but, I was so confused, desperate and anxious at that time; I simply couldn't figure out why I was feeling that way. Then, there was the sudden kiss on that Sunday so many weeks ago that he hadn't mentioned once and, me trying to understand if I liked it or not.

All that confusion and indecision meant only one thing, right?

"I… I think… I…"

It was always so difficult to me to put words to my feelings. I look at him and, his expression had changed. He's drifting away and, I can't tolerate that. He's my rock; I need him, I need my best friend to support me and, guide me. We're strong together and, we can protect those we love.

And I know what I have to do to guarantee his presence by my side. Somehow, I always knew this moment would come. Besides, it doesn't matter, anyway, because I found out what I was feeling and, won't allow myself to back away in my resolve. I pretty much can say it out loud.

"I love you, too."

As soon as the words come out of my mouth, my eyes automatically turn up, looking for something else in the trees above us, anything else other than his face. I can't look at him right now; it makes me inexplicably uncomfortable.

He reaches for me, a blindly smile showing his white teeth but, I don't give space for physical contact, jumping into planning.

"First, we have to come up with an evasion plan; we can't just simply live in the woods now that I'm a target. They'll search the forest as soon as they discover our escape," I tell him.

"What we're going to do, then? I don't know where else to go," he asks, his forehead wrinkled, obviously searching for an alternative.

That's when a wild idea pops up in my mind.

"District 8. I saw that there's a major situation out there in the Mayor's television when I went to visit Magde. They're fighting the Capitol; it's an uprising."

His face lights up immediately.

"An uprising? You're sure?"

"At least, it was what I thought I was seeing, I'm not absolutely sure."

"And they're fighting? But, that means there would be a lot more surveillance there. We can be caught," Gale cogitates.

"But, you see, that's why it's perfect. They'd never think you'll go there because they'd believe you're going to be too afraid to face a revolution," I clarify.

"Once there, as soon as we settle our families down, we can join the fight!" he muses, his gray eyes full of fire, almost lost in awe.

I panic. This never crossed my mind. I don't want to fight. I want to run away from them, not run into their arms.

"No, Gale. We can't. Think about our families, Gale. They need us, we have to protect them, we have to hide. Promise me we'd hide," I beg, desperately.

Tears rolls down my cheeks, following my pleas. This seems to wake him up of his day dream.

"Katniss, don't. You don't have to be afraid. You said yourself, we're strong together. We can help the uprising. That's why President Snow keeps threatening you; he's afraid of what you represent. You're strong. You're the one that inspired them. You're their symbol," he incites me, ardently, taking my hands.

"I don't want to be anybody symbol. I didn't ask to be part of this mess. All I tried to do was get out that damn arena alive," I snap, pushing his hands away and, drying my cheeks with the back of my hands, angrily.

"Okay, we talk about it when we get there. If we get there," he replies, grumpily, making a point to show his frustration. "I'll have to talk to my mother. She won't accept it easily."

"Yes, I know. Mine will have to come. She owns me that much," I say, firmly but, I'm not so sure about that and, he must have seen my hesitation.

"She'll agree. We watched too many of your Games together. She knows how far the Capitol can go," affirms Gale.

"Yeah, I think so. My main concern is Haymitch," I consider, speaking more to myself than him.

"Haymitch?" repeats Gale.

His eyes show a sudden realization and, his face darkening instantly. He tries to hide it, turning his back to me and, facing the fire but, it's too late. I saw it.

"No," he growls.

"What?" I ask, astonished. "What are you talking about?"

"No, he won't come with us, Katniss. It's just us; you, me and our families. No one else."

_No one else. _That's what this is about. He's not talking only about my old mentor.

"They'll come after me, don't you understand?" I try to reason with him.

"Exactly," agrees Gale, turning to me again. "Not after him, after you. And they'll see you're not there and, go look some place else."

"But, Gale…"

"Katniss, be rational. We can't afford to drag that old drunk man with us. It's bad enough we have to take our mothers and, the kids. We won't last two days," he explains, coldly.

"You're underestimating him. He can take care of himself. He was a victor!" I yell, enraged.

"Twenty five years ago. Now, he'll be just dead weight. Think about our families. Think about Prim."

That's a low blow; throwing my words back at me like that and, on top of it, referring specifically to my sister.

But, he got a point. The Capitol will come after me and, Haymitch is pretty capable of riding himself of any dangerous situation with his mask of alcoholic inconsequence. And he'll protect Peeta, too, I'm sure of it. They'll be safe by their own ignorance.

No one will suspect sweet, lovesick Peeta. He's so smart when it comes to television behavior, as Effie says. He'll pose as the poor abandoned guy and, all Panem will feel sorry for him, turning their disgust at me.

A cold resolve takes my mind. I have to do this. It'll better for everyone. I always thought that it wouldn't be any good for Peeta to love me. I know abandoning him would break his heart deeply enough for him to forget about me.

The pain expressed in his face when he found out that I was acting my love for him in the arena crossed my mind, making my body shiver but, I push the image away. There's no point on regretting it now.

"You're right. No one else, just us," I whisper, my voice sounding trembled.

"I'm sorry, Catnip, it's just how it have to be. It was always just us, anyway," says Gale, squeezing my shoulder, affectionately.

His reassuring touch doesn't ease the ache on my heart and, the pounding of my head, though. I search inside me, trying to understand why this so rational decision feels so wrong. I find nothing, only the pure desire to save our lives. And I hope that's enough to make me live with what we're doing.

"Meet me at our spot in the fence by midnight," instructs Gale, kissing my forehead. "Take only the absolutely necessary. That means you have to leave the goat behind."

"I know."

We take off to our houses. There are a lot of things to do before our meeting. It's happening. We're leaving District Twelve and, everything on it forever.

Everything and everyone.

**A/N: Italics is what I literally took from Catching Fire.**

**This idea has been playing around my head since I read Catching Fire and, I think it's a good story to tell. **

**Before someone bring it up, I don't hate Gale – I just think like, really, who wants a Gale when you can have a Peeta – and, I'm not trying to make him a villain. But, I do think he would do anything in his power to separate Katniss and Peeta. He wants for himself, after all. **

**And I think Katniss did fall in love with Peeta during the Games, she was just too confused, too scared and, too naïve to realize it. Does anyone agree with me?**

**I hope you like the story. Can you please tell me in a review? I'll be the happiest author in this fandom. **


	2. The Woods

**Disclaimer: All the credits belong to Suzanne Collins and, I don't take any payment for this story. This is just for entertainment. I don't own anything related to Hunger Games.**

**2 – The Woods**

The forest has been my savior since I was eleven. It has been my source of food, money and comfort even before that, when my father was alive and, taught me how to hunt and, to recognize edible vegetables. It's the only place where I truly can be myself, or at least, I thought so, before I found out that the Capitol monitored Gale and I even here.

Since then, I couldn't really feel at ease walking between its old, tall and familiar trees. Today I feel particularly disturbed. It's not due the uncomfortable cold and, the darkness of the night announcing that predators were in their hunting hours; we can get rid of them easily with our hunting skills.

It's fear.

It has been two days and three nights since we escaped District Twelve. Meeting the scared faces of his family was difficult, especially when looking at my own family scared faces. An excruciating panic crept in my mind. How would we do that? Running away to an imprecise destiny, taking four confused and terrified children as long as two vulnerable women.

We don't even know for sure if we're going in the right direction. Everything we had learned in the school was that District Eight was located southeast from District Twelve. We have a compass that belonged to Gale's father – he needed one to guidance inside the mines – and, we know the basic of how it work but, I don't think that walking in the right direction would be enough to find District Eight.

There are maps in Justice Building but, I simple couldn't go there and, ask for a map that indicates the way to District Eight without raising suspects. They aren't there to be consulted. They're there so it can be shown to the kids in the school – it's mandatory to go see them at least once. The Capitol affirms that is a way to educate us but, everyone knows that it's only to make clear the Districts' limits, a reminder that we better stay were we belonged.

Entering the forest in the night of our evasion wasn't easy. Gale was caring Posy, his little sister, and she clutched so tightly to his neck in her childish fear that I thought she could choke him. Rory and Vick, his younger brother, were trying to put on a brave face but, every little noise made their eyes went wide; I could almost hear the rapid beating of their hearts. Prim was unusually quiet, holding my mother's hand in a way that was certainly painful.

Seeing their despair almost made my determination fade and, I had to close my eyes and, breathe heavily for a brief moment. But, as soon as my eyes shut, I saw the hated face of President Snow, threatening my family and Gale's and, that was what motivated me to go on.

We didn't go too far that night, only reaching a thickly wooded area where we would be able to rest for the rest of the night. Gale and I took turns guarding our little camp but, we really allowed ourselves and the others to sleep the whole night. No one would know that we were missing until, at least, the next morning, giving us time. We knew we would need our full strength during our journey.

Unfortunately, my sleep didn't relax me. Since the Games, my nights are plagued with dreams of blood, beautiful brown eyes closing up forever, mutts and, deteriorating legs. In the mist of my collection of horrific images, Prim's face appeared asking me something repeatedly. Something important.

Every time her voice sounded, she materialized a little more distant from me until the point I couldn't see her any longer and, I tried to reach for her, screaming her name at the top of my lungs but, my voice wouldn't come out. I was mute, my tongue cut as the Avox that served me in the Capitol.

I woke up with my mother's concerned face kind of floating over me and, her hands shaking my shoulder. She told me I was screaming. When she asked what happened I told her it was just a bad dream, nothing to worry about.

_Nothing to worry about._ What a joke.

We have everything to worry about but, I didn't say that, just smiled and, told her she should go back to sleep and, went to change turns with Gale, who was leaning against a tree a few steps ahead of us.

"You can sleep a little more. I'm not that tired," he alleged.

Lie. He had worked all week, of course he was tired.

"Yeah, but I can't sleep anymore. There's no need for both of us wasting sleeping hours," I reasoned.

"It doesn't have to be a waste," he said, huskily, tilting his head to me.

The sudden innuendo made me step back, alarmed. Which was ridiculous after our declaration of love but, I couldn't help it; I wasn't prepared for intimacy.

Sure, I love Gale, I know that. He's my best friend, my partner in crime and, the person I trusted my family when I thought I wouldn't come back for them. The thing is that I'm still not sure if my love for him is the same love my mother had for my father. The kind of love he's expecting me to have.

"Gale…" I started but he cut me off, visibly annoyed.

"What's wrong, Catnip? The others are sleeping; you don't have to be shy."

"It's… it's not that. We can't lose focus now, Gale. It's too soon," I tried to sound wise but, I could sense my voice cracking at wrong places.

"Focus? Oh, come on, Katniss. We're hunters. Do you really think someone will sneak up on us?" he retorted, his eyes blazing with frustration.

"Gale, I can't think about that. Not right now. All I think about is how scared I am. How desperate to get us out of these damn woods the faster we can. All I can think about since the minute we crossed the fence is to find a place to hide. When we get there, I don't know, I'll be calm enough to allow myself to feel that way."

"You'll allow yourself?" he repeated, slowly.

"Gale, there's probably an arm looking for us right now. Thinking nothing else but, kill us. All of us."

"Well, there was people looking for you in the arena, wanting only to kill you, but that didn't stop you from kissing baker boy, did it?" he threw at me.

I opened my mouth to say something, anything, closing it instantly, like a fish trying to breath, one, two, three times. But, the truth is: I didn't have anything to say. It took me a few seconds to come up with a reply.

"You know it was just a strategy…" I started, weakly.

"Yeah, that was what I was told. You know what? You're right, I should get some sleep. Wake me up if something happen."

With that he turned his back to me and, went to lay down next to Posy, leaving me with a bad taste in my mouth. He didn't mention our talk in the next day and, I tried my best to keep out of his way, still trying to understand what I was feeling. I kept bringing up the memory of that kiss so many weeks ago, looking for any kind of emotion. I found only astonishment.

Gale and I decided to walk as straight as possible to our destiny so we would always know where District Twelve is. We figured that it might be easier to sense if someone was following us. Not that we would discard the possibility of a frontal attack or something like that but, it's possible that they start our pursuit from there.

So far, we didn't see a soul or heard any sound that shouldn't belong to the forest but, we aren't that naïve to believe no one will come after us. We have been extra careful, not starting fires at night, traveling as quickly and as soundlessly as possible – which it's not possible with the children, although they do try really hard to help – taking advantage of day light.

Sometimes, we don't even allow the kids to stop for meals, making them eat while we walk, giving them crackers or dry meat or any kind of thing that don't actually requires a fork. Luckily, there was a ridiculous amount of food stocked in my house at Victor's Village and, my mother packed everything durable she could grab. It was a heavy weight to carry but, we couldn't count only with hunting and, wild vegetables.

The first time my mother gave me something to eat during a walk was in the morning right after our escape and, it was kind of disastrous. We were following the sound of a river, in the hopes of filling our bottles with fresh water and, she passed me a cheese bun. And suddenly, I couldn't breath. I actually had to hold on to a tree to avoid falling to the ground.

"Katniss, what's wrong?" my mother's voice sounded very far away.

Everyone gathered around me, worry written on their faces and, I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts but, there was a weight on my chest and, I couldn't say anything.

I just showed her the little bread in my hand and, she realized immediately the meaning of that. Hazelle took the bread out of my hands and, gave it to the kids, without saying a word while my mother talked to me, telling me to inhale slowly through the noise and exhale through the mouth.

"Where are Peeta and Haymitch?" Prim's voice sounded again in my memory.

That was what she asked me when we crossed the fence to our evasion from District Twelve. That was what she kept asking me in that awful dream. I didn't have a good answer to her so I resumed saying that they couldn't come with us. She didn't seem convinced but, said nothing. It wasn't necessary; her miserable expression told me all she was feeling.

After a few minutes, I managed to control my panic attack, telling them we had to keep walking. Gale didn't talk to me the rest of the day.

That night, I had the worst dream. I was in the middle of our district's square surrounded by corpses. At least half District Twelve laid in the ground at my feet, their bodies thrown in awkward angles, covered in blood. Gun shoots sounded in front of me and, I turned up my head rapidly, only to see a Peacekeeper shooting the citizens that formed a long line, each one waiting obediently for their time of death. The next person in the line was Peeta. Haymitch had been the previous one and was being carried by other Peacekeepers that threw him in the crescent pile of death bodies.

Next thing I knew, I was being held by someone as I screamed. But, something was wrong; those weren't the right arms, they were thin and fragile.

"Katniss, stop. You have to stop screaming. It's dangerous," whispered Prim.

The confusion of sleep vanished my mind instantly, making me panic. I could have alert some possible persecutor. I felt ashamed by my weakness.

"I'm sorry, Prim. I'm so, so sorry," I cried.

"I know," she said, quietly, still holding me, waiting for me to stop sobbing. "You said his name."

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Peeta. You said his name. Don't worry, Gale didn't hear, I woke you before you screamed too loud."

I hadn't sleep much since then, only two or three hours each night, making sure to be near Prim when I did. She promised to wake me up as soon as I started to talk.

That's why I'm guarding our camp site now, tired as ever, in the darkest night since our escape, searching for any signs of danger while seven people are sound asleep a few feet away from me. But, I don't worry about slipping up and falling asleep without meaning. I'm too terrified to that.

**A/N: Thank you all that took time to read this and, specially, my reviewers. Although, it has been only three people, you were so supportive and, said such nice things that made my day. I didn't expect such a positive response.**


	3. Paranoid

**Disclaimer: All the credits belong to Suzanne Collins and, I don't take any payment for this story. This is just for entertainment. I don't own anything related to Hunger Games.**

**3 – Paranoid**

A week had passed without any sign of persecution. We aren't exactly sure of how much ground we covered so far and, it bothers me because I'm pretty sure that's much less than Gale and I could do if we were alone. I don't blame anyone but, the knot in my stomach is really putting me on the edge. Plus, the quietness and security the forest offers us worries me.

Paranoid much, huh?

But, the thing is that it's too calm. I know President Snow is possessed by fury right now. A man – such an important man – that takes his time to go to an insignificant poor district just to threat a little girl and her loved ones to assure the Capitol's supremacy and, in consequence his power, wouldn't do anything in his power to capture us and make a public example from our unfortunate fate.

Every step ahead is painful. I picture a thousand scenarios were we get caught and, imprisoned and, torture and, executed. I guess that if the Capitol captures me now they won't even need to torture me; the horrors crossing my mind are enough to derange the bravest ones.

Gale had stopped the silent treatment a few days ago when he realized the level of anxiety I was on.

"It's too cold today. We've been traveling for a long time and, everyone is tired. We should rest all night, don't you think?" he asked, smiling like nothing had happened.

"Sure. Why not?" I said, surprised with his amiability. "We should look for a cave or something so we can be warmer."

"Yes, we should. You should lead, then. You're better skilled on this, since you trained for the Games and all," he gave.

"Yeah, you're right."

That was it. No apologizes, not talking about what was bothering him, absolutely nothing. I understand in a way, I mean, Gale and I are too much alike and, I know how hard is to try and talk about feeling. Both of us prefer just ignore them. Still, it's impossible to not compare with a very similar situation handled so differently by another person.

But, I don't want to compare. It's useless to compare. Peeta is out of my life. I probably won't see him for the rest of my live. And that's good because I made my choice. And I can't go back now, even if I wanted. Which I don't.

Right?

I didn't find a cave in the strict sense of the word but, there was a salience in a rock a few miles ahead that could shelter us from the cold wind. It was big enough for all of us to get under and narrowed, which obligate us to stay very close. The heat of ours bodies was comforting and, soon the kids were sound asleep. Another thing to worry about: the little ones are exhausted, forcing us to take longer periods of rest.

Gale had tried to take the first round of surveillance but, I didn't let him. I told him that I was used to sleep very little since the Games, which is true. But, the fact was that I wanted to let Prim sleep a little more before waking her with my routine of nightmares and screams.

Besides, I wouldn't sleep anyway. I had reached a point where things got reverse; while the children and, our mothers are starting to feel more comfortable in the woods, walking firmer and, less scared, I jump at every little noise, always looking behind or above us, waiting for the sudden attack that I'm sure will come. Plus, this is just something more that preoccupies me; they're feeling to confident, forgetting how much the woods are dangerous and, that can make them careless

The more anxious I get, the worse the nightmares are. The most recent is positively gruesome. It's the Reaping Day and, everyone's at the square. There's only one huge glass ball with thousands of paper slips inside and, Effie Trinket starts to pull them out, one by one, literally reaping every single citizen of District Twelve. Only I stay behind.

And then, the square is invaded by mutts, huge wolves, the same ones we fought in the Games, the ones with the tributes eyes. A lot of them. And I'm forced to see the tributes' eyes reproduced ten, twenty, thirty times in the mutts. They ignore me completely, jumping on the crowd reunited at the stage, shredding them to pieces, eating everyone with open mouths so I can see their flesh being crushed, their blood dripping from the mutts lips while Effie fires cannon shots happily, proud of the show.

I wake up with the sound of my own screams, struggling to get free of restraining arms. Strong arms, smelling of wood smoke, emanating warmth, that come with a shooting voice. But, my mind still refuses to accept its comfort; they're the wrong arms, the wrong smell, the voice is too rough, too impatient. It doesn't have the power to keep the nightmares away.

"Katniss, it's okay. It's just a nightmare," Gale soothes me.

"Okay, I'm okay," I answer.

I push his arms away, fully awake now.

"What's wrong?" he demands.

"Nothing. Nothing is wrong. It's just a nightmare. You said yourself," I reply, defensively.

"That's not what I'm asking. I want to know why you're acting so strange these past few days. Actually, you've been all weird ever since we left District Twelve. Every time I try to get close to you, you react like a scared animal. Or a wild one. I don't know what it's going on and, you don't give me any clues."

"Gale, it's nothing, it's just stress," I try to dismiss his inquiry.

"Nothing? How can it be nothing when I can't even touch you? When you even don't look at me for days?" he asks, his voice rising at each word.

"Shhh. You're going to wake up the kids!" I say, worried that the situation gets out of control. "And what do you mean, I don't look at you? You're the one that gave me the silent treatment."

"Because you refused to look at me. And don't change the subject!" yells Gale, exasperate.

"I don't know what the subject is! I don't know why we're fighting!" I snap back.

"You want to know it? Fine, I'll tell you. You ask me to run away with you, leaving behind everything I fought hard to keep and, when I do all you think about is what you left there. All you think about is your fiancée. I'm not stupid, Katniss. Or deaf, for that matter. I know you say his name in your sleep. You said you love me but, you didn't show it once. How do you think I feel about all this?"

Gale's completely transformed now. His eyes burning with a powerful fury; the same fury I saw before when he cursed against the Capitol in the woods. And I know his right. He has every right to be angry and frustrate. I can even comprehend myself and, I don't like my actions, either.

It's the first time I stop to think about that; about the way he feels about this whole mess. I had left him with the burden of taking care of my mother and sister when I left to the Games, went to a place so distant from our reality that it could easily be mistaken from another planet, appeared on national television posing as lover to a boy we barely knew, came back home with him, moved to Victor's Village with him living three houses away from me, only to announce to the world – again in national television – my promise to marry him.

I feel sick with myself. Had I used him only to escape? The same way I used Peeta in the arena? Had I thought only about my personal interests? Can I sincerely love someone, without wanting anything in return? Am I capable to feel that?

And the truth is that I don't have an answer to my own questions. I'm too selfish, too coward to think about anything else besides my own security.

"_You think about saving Prim. And you saved Peeta in the arena,"_ a little voice whispers in my head.

But, it's not enough to convince me that I'm a good person. Because I always knew that I love Prim; she's the only person I would do anything for. And I still don't know if everything I did for Peeta wasn't only for the opportunity to win the Games, to stay alive.

I'm ashamed. Only now I realize the kind of person I am. And I'm terrified that Gale recognizes it, too. If I was a noble person, I would admit it to him, beg for his forgiveness, go back home and, face my punishment. But, the only noble person I know is miles away from us.

Instead, I only say, "I know, Gale. And I'm so sorry for being so worthless. But, I made my choice when I ran with you. That's the only answer I have to give you right now."

He sighs, looking tiredly defeated. But, something I said must have sounded right because his shoulders relaxed visibly.

"Well, it's not much but, I have to admit that, at least, you seem faithful to your choice. Just try not to push me away again, okay?"

"Okay," I agree, weakly.

He surprises me, saying, "And you're wrong, you know?"

"About what?"

"There's nothing worthless about you," he whispers, hugging me gently.

I let him hold me for a long time, needing his warmth and strength. Because, honestly, right now I don't have any.

**A/N: I want to apologize with all my reviewers. I like to answer all of them but, lately FanFiction(dot)net is being a nightmare and, I can't barely log in to update. **

**Some of you got mad at Gale for trying to be with Katniss while they run but, he's just a guy in love – a horny teenager one on top of that – wanting a harmless make out session with the girl that claims to love him.**

**Again, I don't want to make him a villain, so if you feel like it's going in this direction, please, feel free to stop me. **

**And I really want to thank everyone that took the time to review. It's really satisfying to see people liking my work. Your support matters a lot. **


	4. Shaterring Dreams

**Disclaimer: All the credits belong to Suzanne Collins and, I don't take any payment for this story. This is just for entertainment. I don't own anything related to Hunger Games.**

**4 – Shattering Dreams**

In a strange way, being honest with Gale was the best thing that I could have done to break the barrier that grew between us since our escape. He seems ready to move on with our lives, forgiving me for my mistakes and, my erratic behavior.

I'm trying my hardest to be as cooperative as I can, even walking hand in hand with him when it's possible. We haven't talked about the romantic aspect of our relationship after the night he confronted me. I'm too insecure to bring it up and, he's too cautious to provoke another fight.

I don't even want to talk about it with Prim or my mother. I hear ours mothers talking about us when they think we aren't paying attention, though. They believe that we're together now and, I really don't even know what we're doing; he hadn't tried to kiss me since that night but, he's treating me differently, holding me close for a few minutes every time we change turns during the night, giving me flowers that he finds in our way, among other little things I'm sure he never did before.

Does that means I'm his girlfriend now? I can't find the energy to ask him, or to name it to myself. All I know is that I don't like to think that I'm Gale's girlfriend. It's stupid and, I know it but, it feels so wrong to do this without explaining it to Peeta. I try to tell myself that it doesn't matter anymore. For all I know, he can hates me now. Unfortunately, thinking like that only makes me depressed.

Besides, it irritates me. It seems like my love life is fated to be decided for me. Before the Games, everyone just assumed I would end up with Gale because of our friendship. After the Games I was forced to get engaged to Peeta. In both cases, nobody consulted me. My opinion is the last thing anyone cares to ask.

We're following the same routine of heading southeast, always making sure to keep track of District Twelve behind us. At some point in our new arrangement of being honest, I shared my concerns with him about the lack of retaliation from the Capitol. Surprising me, he told me that he has the same feeling that something is not right. Or perhaps I should say that he feels something is even more wrong that it should be.

Hearing a strong and cold hunter confirming my preoccupations is positively the worst thing in this moment but, Gale was never one to lie, especially to me. I wish I really have some kind of military training for this evasion thing; instead we only have to trust our instincts. We don't even know if going in a straight line is a good strategy but, somehow, knowing were our district is kind of comfort us.

I know that we're hundreds of miles away from District Eight but, I keep hoping to see signs of the factories at each hill we find. There's nothing to do besides walking, walking and, walking. The kids are restless, our mothers showing signs of fatigue with dark circles under their eyes. Even Gale and I, used as we are with the hardness of the woods, are starting to get tired. I don't tell them, because it would be just cruel but, I feel exactly the same way I felt in the arena. We're all in a big Hunger Games, only this time we're fighting to keep everyone alive instead of killing one another.

Out of pure boredom, we start to talk about what we wish to find when arriving our destiny. The kids' fantasies are really entertaining; Rory wants to dye his boots, Vick wants to learn how they do wool's quilts and so on.

All the talk about what to do in District Eight activates Gale's hopes to join the revolution. I know I said that I don't want to fight in a war that's not ours due my worry with my family and his but, I'm also aware that this isn't true. It's our war. The revolution, if succeeded, can put an end in the madness we live, can bring justice for all the repressed and massacred districts.

"Think about it, Catnip. You're their inspiration. It doesn't matter to them if you were just faking to have a relationship with that guy in the arena. All that matters is that you're alive and, you managed to escape under their noses. If we join the fight, you can inspire them. We have a chance this time, I know we have. Can you imagine how it would be without having to run away? How good must be to not live in fear?" says Gale, deep in the night, when everyone's sleeping and, we don't have to worry that our mothers catch his words.

"_That guy."_ He doesn't even say his name, as if his denial would impede my guilt.

"I don't know, Gale. I need to think about it," is my lame excuse of an answer.

But, the true is that I can see it. There's nothing that I wish more than to live freely, happily and fearless. To be able to go back to District Twelve and, make sure everything and everyone is okay, to see prosperity, to never see my people starving to death again and, be able to hunt, work, laugh and say whatever I want without looking over my shoulder. To not worry about having my children yanked away from my arms to be thrown in a sick game to fight for their lives. To marry whoever I want.

And this trail of thought lead me, once again, to the boy I left behind – the only person that had shown me kindness in the time I needed the most, my boy with bread – knowing that, by doing so, I would be shattering his heart in million pieces. Once again, the mere thought of Peeta Mellark is capable to take all the air out of my lungs and, I have to embrace myself tightly, as if trying to prevent that my body splits in two.

"Something's wrong?" Gale asks, taking me out of my inner battering.

"Nothing. I was just thinking that it would be really good to go back home. Without fear," I say, determined.

It's useless to deny it. When I choose to leave, choosing Gale in the process, I also choose the revolution. As everything else in my life so far, I was just procrastinating the inevitable. In the moment President Snow threatened my family, I knew this would come. I just kept avoiding it because I was so scared for the ones I love. But, the only way I have to really protect them is trying to change things.

Gale is right. When we get to District Eight, we should join the uprising. It's the only hope.

Part of my decision is made by the desire to go back home and see Peeta again, to beg for his forgiveness and, try to be friends with him once more. I own him at least my friendship; I'll always own him. But, I can't think about it right now, so I just lock this thought in a well hidden place in my mind, hoping to forget about it.

In the morning of our ninth day in the woods, something happens.

Nothing is different in the trees or the vegetation that surround us but, the animals get agitated, leaving their refuges, running wildly. The birds get strangely quiet. Gale and I get full alert, our hunters' senses telling us to be extra careful. We find shelter in a small cave a few yards ahead, leaving our families there and, climbing in the trees to observe our surroundings better. Nothing seems to change, though; despite the three hours we spend watching the forest's every move.

By noon, we decide to keep going. Whatever scared the animals isn't coming in our direction and, we won't take the risk to get caught by accident. We're just gathering our supplies when we hear a loud noise and, the sky turns yellow.

An explosion.

We can't identify where it happened but, we run anyway. Posy starts to cry, clutched in Gale's neck again, Prim pulls my mother by the hand and, all of us are so terrified that they run faster than ever, which is a blessing. There's no time to be gentle with the kids, the only thing we can do is try to make sure everyone is together and, look over our shoulders to see if we're getting chased.

A thunder announces another explosion, only this time bigger than the previous one. This one is so loud; bringing a fire so high that's impossible to not know where is coming from. Because all this time, we made sure to walk in a straight line. A third bomb explodes and, suddenly, I know where.

District Twelve.

It's the final vengeance of President Snow and the Capitol. He's making sure I don't have any place to come back for. He destroyed our home.

But, nothing matters right now, not his petty revenge, not the unfairness of all this, not the destruction caused by the bombs, because there's only one thought in my mind and I freeze in place.

"Peeta!" I scream at the top of my lungs.

My knees gets weak and, my vision, dark. I feel myself falling to the hard ground before the world goes blank.

**A/N: I hope you like this chapter. I tried to make it dramatic but, I'm only slightly satisfied. What do you think?**

**I want to thank all my reviewers again. Every time I read your comments I get all warm inside. You really make my day. **


	5. Ghosts of the Past

**Disclaimer: All the credits belong to Suzanne Collins and, I don't take any payment for this story. This is just for entertainment. I don't own anything related to Hunger Games.**

**5 – Ghosts of the Past**

We've been walking in silence for half a day now. There's nothing to say, nothing to ask, nothing that really matter besides the dull pain aching in each of our hearts. Even little Posy that doesn't quite understand what happened knows that we're mourning; she already saw too many deaths in her short life to not know what it is.

After my break down, everything seemed to happen in a blur. Gale urging the kids to walk faster, leading the way, trying his hardest to find patches in the trees' shades, my mother supporting me, helping me to walk because I was kind of numb. I had faded for only a few seconds but, the time we lost could be the difference between life and death.

In a really weird way, I'm not in such a hurry. I know now that we don't need to run. No, it's not that. There's no point to run. President Snow isn't worried at all in running after us. In fact, I won't be surprised if the Capitol knows exactly where we are. They were simply toying with us, letting us have hope, letting us dream of escaping their claws, when all the time they knew exactly what we were doing and, how to find us.

Isn't that the kind of game they like to play? Isn't it exactly what they do with the kids in the Hunger Games?

Letting them have hope, telling them think that they'll allow two tributes from the same district go back home only to have them fighting in partnership then, when the two of them survive until the end, inform them that the rules had changed again and, they have to fight each other.

They played this game with me once. I have no idea why I thought that this time would be different. And I hate myself for being, once more, so damn naïve.

But, now is different. Now I don't have only two or three deaths on my hands. A whole district was completely destroyed due my ingenuity. I don't have to go back to Twelve to know that for sure; President Snow wouldn't allow a single soul to survive his wrath. The same way the Capitol destroyed Thirteen.

After a long time walking the faster we could, Gale finds a cave and, we all hide there. It's useless and, I know it but, since it doesn't matter, I let them have their hope. What difference it would do if they have another good night of sleep? They deserve, at least, this last night and, I don't have the heart do deny them it.

We share a light meal with some crackers and berries. There's rabbit that we hunt yesterday but, I can't eat it. I'm actually forcing a cracker down just because I know I need my strength. I'm not hungry, I'm not tired, I'm nothing. Just numb.

"Violet, you should talk to her. She's not eating or talking since she woke up. I'm worried," says Hazelle to my mother, at some point in the night.

"I know, Hazelle. But, what am I suppose to say to make her feel better? She's strong. Stronger than I'll ever be. Let her have some time. If she continues acting like this, the two of us will talk to her. I don't think I can do it by myself," my mother murmurs with a sadness in her voice that I once heard when my father died.

"Okay," Hazelle replies, sighing deeply.

She, too, don't know what to do to me. No one does. That's why we're hiding in fear in a cave in the middle of nowhere, trying to find a place that we don't actually where is. Because no one knew what to do to me in the Hunger Games so they let me live. And now, all I wish is that they had killed me there; it would be so much easier for everyone. Including me.

Another day passed and, no one appeared, nothing's different in the woods. Insanely, I wish they just catch us, ending up our misery. None of my wishes will ever come true, though, because we continue to walk in a never changing land of green. The night came fast, the kids were exhausted and, we simply couldn't move anymore.

As usual, we found a safe place to spend the night. Well, actually, Gale found it, since I'm positively useless. Mother and, Hazelle divide the food we have and, everyone starts to eat it silently. I guess there's nothing to be said.

I'm wrong, like I always am, though, because Prim starts to say something with a small voice, almost as if she was afraid to talk but, couldn't help it.

"Mr. Mellark always smiled and, waived at me when we crossed paths. I never knew why he did it but, I always waived back. He didn't have to do that. I guess he was just being nice. Everyone said that he was a good man."

"He was," mother agrees. "I never really thanked the butcher for letting Katniss buy your goat. It was a very kind thing to do."

I don't understand at first why they're talking about those things when all I want to do is to forget about everything and, everyone, burying myself in an abysm of nothingness to avoid the pain of losing all we have ever known as home. Then, it hits me. It's a tribute, a way to honor the ones that were lost in the Capitol's insane battle for power.

"Mr. Abernathy gave me a coin once. I didn't think he was really sober enough to know what he was doing but, he said that it was easier to give it to me than carrying it all around the Hob. He also said that I should give the money to mom because she would use it well so I guess he wasn't as drunk as I thought," Rory tells us.

I don't think I had ever seen someone so young caring the kind of expression that's in his face right now but, then again, I had never seen an entire village being destroyed by bombs before.

"Greasy Sae was the first person that bought my game. She told everyone in the Hob to be careful with me because I was a tough seller and, that she had to bargain a lot with me for a skinny rabbit. It was such a lie; I was shaking more than the leaves in the trees. But, for a while, no one dared to try lowering my price, fearing to lose the meat," Gale shares with a funny look on his face, like he's seeing more than the fire he's staring at.

"It's funny how we have all these happy things to remember from a place where we suffered so much," Hazelle muses, talking more to herself than us.

Then, I start. I don't even know how I did but, I tell them all about Peeta. About how he salved me from starvation by throwing me those breads, about the plan he plotted with Haymitch to get me out alive from the arena, the nights in the Games when we just clutched to each other for warmth, even about the dandelion I had picked in the day after he gave me the bread. The words just come out of my mouth without my actual consent; it's like they have their own will.

When I finish my little tale, everyone's staring at me with different expressions on their faces, mostly surprise; I never shared this part of my life with anyone else besides Peeta himself. I thing that that's exactly why I'm doing it now; I had never thanked him for all the things he did for me, consciously or not and, now I simply can't anymore so somebody has to know at least a part of what he means to me.

"And, in the end, I just left him behind. I should never leave that arena alive. I don't deserve it," I say and, turn my back on them, lying on the ground to sleep.

The others don't dare to say anything to me; there's not else to say. Quietly, they settle down to pass through another uncertain night and, I can feel the thick atmosphere of sorrow that was cast among us. In a way, we betrayed all of them, all the people that lived in our district, good or bad, young or old, rich or poor, they all suffered because we were cowards and, ran without looking back.

I'm sure they're thinking the same as me now. We aren't worth to be alive. That'll be our curse for the rest of our lives. I don't know if being caught by the Capitol is the worse kind of punishment for our actions that we can face. Guilt can be pretty bad either.

**A/N: I'm so sorry for taking so long to update. Real life is being something. I'm really satisfied with this chapter and, hope you like it, too. **

**Thanks again for all the great reviews and, for keeping ask me to continue the story. It really means a lot, guys!**


	6. Author's Note

Guys, I do appreciate your concern and support to continue my stories.

But I just want to make it clear that I'm not giving up on any one of my stories. I'm just a little uninspired lately and concentrating on other projects.

Currently, I'm working on stories inspired by the show Beauty and the Beast. For those of you that still didn't see it, give it a try. It's great.

That doesn't mean I gave up on my other stories and that I won't finish them so, as flattering as I think it is that someone likes them so much that they're willing to take the story from where I stop it and go on with it, I don't feel comfortable in giving permission to do it.

Since I'm not the original author, I can't really unauthorize it, but I'll consider plagiarism and I'll get deeply hurt if someone tries to take my plots.

Sorry if I sound harsh saying this. I just want to make it clear.


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